When you think things just can't get any worse, they do. This has been a helluva week. I missed classes for the first time since I have been in school. I have to miss at this critical time when things are starting to get real.
I have never been this sick in my life. I literally could not walk. I was scared, I thought maybe I had something really serious. There is nothing more miserable than being sick, scared & alone. Except maybe knowing that you are getting so far behind in this program that you have worked your ass off for, have sweated blood, sweat & tears & now you may not make it. How messed up is that?
I have the commitment I have the drive, but this pneumnia brought me down. I see everyone else going on w/o me & it kills me inside. This isn't fair.
I hope next weeks is better, that is all that I can do. Life isn't fair, welcome to the world. All I ask is have patience w me, I am doing the very best I can. I will try to get caught up next week & move on.
PS Snoop Dogg was incredible. It was the best concert I have ever been to in my life. He is a consumate artist & performer & he put on a helluva show. Wiz Khalifa was great as well. I think it made me feel a little better just to get out & have some fun, even if I do die. Thanks for understanding. It felt good to live a little. It was a charmed night.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
I finally gave up. This cold has me, I am coughing all night & getting no sleep. I can't seem to get myself better. Friday April cx classes so I took the day off. I have never missed a class or a test since I have started college. I slept all damn day. I am past the point of knowing what to do.
My body took a hit & it will get better over time. It is frustrating, but there is nothing I can do.
I really enjoy what we are doing in class, I like the activities so much better. I hate the video camera. I like getting correctedd & feedback as we go. Wish that I was able to practice.
This is a life lesson & I am doing the best that I can.
I love this weather & have so many things I want to do, going to rest up this weekend & hope that next week is a better week.
K
My body took a hit & it will get better over time. It is frustrating, but there is nothing I can do.
I really enjoy what we are doing in class, I like the activities so much better. I hate the video camera. I like getting correctedd & feedback as we go. Wish that I was able to practice.
This is a life lesson & I am doing the best that I can.
I love this weather & have so many things I want to do, going to rest up this weekend & hope that next week is a better week.
K
Thursday, February 10, 2011
*Sigh* Another week down I know we are headed for the "game" and I have never felt more unprepared in my life. I am a good student, I care and most of all I respect communication. It is critical. Sometimes I think we all try too hard.
We had our first actual voice experience this morning, I feel like a bones with no meat when I leave class, I am picked clean.
This is the last semester and I am aware it is the most challenging. I have never started out a semester like this. I still am not up to par with my health. I am trying. I have taken time off work and will only be working 3 days a week this semester. We are going to try to get some time with Robyn to practice. My goal is to come out of this semester strong since I have started out so weak. Sometimes, you give all that you can.
Of all people I know better than to let myself get like this.
You fall down, you get up dust yourself off and continue. I refuse to let this beat me. I am a damn good massage therapist? Why? Because I worked my ass off, I took classes all over the world, I did the work. Even though I don't know my foot is my hand in this world I will get it, in time-- I will be as good as Danielle. There is only one way to gain experience, it takes time & you have to be patient with yourself. The worst battles in this program are with yourself, this is the toughest program for confidence and self esteem. If I fail, think I will try pre-med, it would be a piece of cake after this. LOL! Gotta laugh can't cry every day.
K
We had our first actual voice experience this morning, I feel like a bones with no meat when I leave class, I am picked clean.
This is the last semester and I am aware it is the most challenging. I have never started out a semester like this. I still am not up to par with my health. I am trying. I have taken time off work and will only be working 3 days a week this semester. We are going to try to get some time with Robyn to practice. My goal is to come out of this semester strong since I have started out so weak. Sometimes, you give all that you can.
Of all people I know better than to let myself get like this.
You fall down, you get up dust yourself off and continue. I refuse to let this beat me. I am a damn good massage therapist? Why? Because I worked my ass off, I took classes all over the world, I did the work. Even though I don't know my foot is my hand in this world I will get it, in time-- I will be as good as Danielle. There is only one way to gain experience, it takes time & you have to be patient with yourself. The worst battles in this program are with yourself, this is the toughest program for confidence and self esteem. If I fail, think I will try pre-med, it would be a piece of cake after this. LOL! Gotta laugh can't cry every day.
K
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Another day in Paradise!
Wow its already week 3? Time moves so fast once school starts. It is like being in a dream on fast forward. I am feeling much better, almost like a human being. I am about 85% better. Some time in the next 3 weeks I will get blood work done & hopefully I am close to being back to normal, normal as I ever was.
Monday was a tough day, we as a class just couldn't seem to get it. You have days like that. We all take it hard when Ruby gets upset, & I don't think I have seen her like that, ever. If she had done that last year I think I would have probably passed out.
I understand this is more than just a "class" it is a commitment. Today I ordered the interpreter training receptive & expressive video's to get some good practice. I will increase my study time now that I can think again.
I enjoy doing the activities even if I am not that good at them. We all struggle. This I do know I have never been in a room w 4 other such determined people. We are all good students, our hearts are in the right place. Hopefully, something will kick in & pah pah as Katy says we will get it, the lightbulb will come on. We all care, but sometimes life can really take the wind out of your sails. We have been busting our a***** for 2 years now. I feel that sometimes I can see it on all of our faces, we look tired.
The end is always the hardest. Lets git-r-dun as they say!
Monday was a tough day, we as a class just couldn't seem to get it. You have days like that. We all take it hard when Ruby gets upset, & I don't think I have seen her like that, ever. If she had done that last year I think I would have probably passed out.
I understand this is more than just a "class" it is a commitment. Today I ordered the interpreter training receptive & expressive video's to get some good practice. I will increase my study time now that I can think again.
I enjoy doing the activities even if I am not that good at them. We all struggle. This I do know I have never been in a room w 4 other such determined people. We are all good students, our hearts are in the right place. Hopefully, something will kick in & pah pah as Katy says we will get it, the lightbulb will come on. We all care, but sometimes life can really take the wind out of your sails. We have been busting our a***** for 2 years now. I feel that sometimes I can see it on all of our faces, we look tired.
The end is always the hardest. Lets git-r-dun as they say!
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