Hoorah!

I was skyping with my brother this weekend. We were discussing my upcoming trip to Singapore & some of the experiences that I have had going through this program, he started laughing. I didn't find it funny. He said that I sounded like a recruit going through boot camp. He said that it sounded like a similar emotional experience! I am glad somebody gets it. He also said that if we have instructors who make us feel that motivated & determined it was a good thing. It is the internal pressure that you put on yourself that gets you. It isn't anything, anyone can make you feel or do, it is you. Learning that you will fail, but you get up & you keep going, you figure it out, you get help, but you don't quit. Somedays you wonder why, but you go to class anyway. There have been days that I think I would have preferred to have been shot at. Its over faster, you know you lived so you are relieved. No one is going to film the near miss & say, you could have ran for cover, why did you stand there & look like a deer in headlights, do you want to be a target? You are not going to have to critique the skills of the person who missed you, did they have the right caliber gun & a heavy enough bullet? Did they aim high or low? No, I am not the best interpreting student in the history of the program, but I gave it what I had. I learned a lot. Skills can always be improved, you will gain so much with experience. But, if you do not have what it takes inside of you, it isn't going to matter. I still hate it that I got so sick, its over, don't make excuses, you have to double-time it, try to learn what we are doing & go back & practice some of what I missed. I tried to do that this weekend. The most important lesson, keep moving forward. I think that may be the most important lesson that we have all learned. No matter what happens, how bad you blow a test, or a performance piece keep going. Take away something from the experience & move forward. Let it go its done, you survived. Maybe tomorrow will be your day. K