Final Thoughts!

KEEP CALM & CARRY ON! K

This is it! Practicum

Wow, it does not seem possible, practicum is here & finals week is next week. 2 years have passed. It has been a crazy wild ride.
I went to Huntington and met Tracy Bryant, she is an interpreter that was granfathered in. She is one of the best interpreters I have ever met. She has been doing this on her own for 20 years. Her goal is to be NIC certified and there is no doubt in my mind that she will accomplish her goal. Her skills, intentions, compassion and knowledge were gained through her personal effort. I observed Tracy while she was teaching an ASL class at the local community college. It was a great experience, I got to review and watch the students. It is funny ASL students are the same everywhere a nervous wreck & they try so very hard. The dedication is something that I have not seen in any other discipline. Tracy made them have voice off, which was met w a moan, but she pointed out that I had a Deaf instructor from day one. Tracy is calm, it is more than her personality she is very confident in her ability. It was a 3 hour drive to Huntington and with the cost of gas & hotel it was cost prohibitive for me. We discussed this and decided to correspond via skype. She has given me assigments, videos I am to dissect for register, vocab, CL and expansions. I am sending her video's of my interpretations which she is going to critique. So I can view her interpreting, she is going to do a video for me. There is going to be a final as well. She has worked my butt off. This may not be the ideal practicum situation, but for me it has worked really well. I feel that I got behind during my bout of pneumonia. I did not go home & practice every day like I did last year. I couldn't. This way I get practice, encouragment and some time to hone my skills and get a little confidence back, I was ready to quit. All video's Tracy will have I have a folder w my homework in it. Like I told Tracy if I do nothing I cheat myself. After the past two years there is no way I would do that. I have kept track of the hours that I have done homework to count as practicum hours. Trying to get this mountain of homework done as well. My goal is to finish on a good note. That was my goal w my song, I wanted to do it and feel like I did the best job I could. It isn't about April, or Ruby or my classmates. It is about me wanting to finish something that I worked so hard for, struggled with, but I made it. This has to be on of the hardest things I have ever accomplished.
May 17, I get on an airplane and spend a month on vacation. I think when I get back I will have things in perspective and be ready to move on with my life and my career.
Thank you April & Ruby & Robyn you have been great instructors, role models and sometimes you frustrated the h*** out of us. This is not an easy subject to learn & I know it can't be easy to teach.
Good luck to you.
Karla K. Hickey

Wow going to practicum. Long drive to Huntington, but think it will be worthwhile. Checking into the note taking program WVU. That really interests me. Homework is piled up & I seem to keep moving it from one side of the room to the other...

It does not seem possible.
K

12

12 days of class left. Does not seem possible that 2 years have went by. A lot has happened in a short amount of time.
Curious to see what Tracy has to offer, it will be interesting to see what she has done. She is very involved in her community and the Deaf community. She is considering getting certified and goes out of her way to go to everyworkshop she can. It will be nice to have some real world experience.
I buy my ticket to Singapore tomorrow morning. This trip is going to put everything into perspective for me, I hope. After I have some fun, relax and decompress I think I will have a definite direction. Is interpreting in my future? Maybe, but definitely in the future. I love working with Robin, she answered some questions for me last night that helped things become so much more clear. I have a love for the language and the culture that I do know. I will definitely become more fluent. Interpreting and I are not on a first name basis. I will let you know what I decide when I get back if you care to find out.
A few mai-tai's and fantastic food, sunshine & the most beautiful sunsets over the ocean......even if I dont' make a decison, I won't really care.
K

4,3,2,1

Wow time passes so fast when you are having fun or a nervous breakdown. This year has been a really wild ride. My life has been constant transition. Last week was one of those weeks when you really wonder if you need an exorcism or someone has put a curse on you. I could not complete the simplest task. When you are at the point that you feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall it is time to give it break. There is a point when you realize that stressing really doesn't help in fact it makes things much worse. It isn't good for you. Things come together in time & if it takes you a little longer than someone else it is no big deal. Don't measure yourself against someone else. Measure your progress & plan to improve, that is all you can do. I think going to work w Tracy will be interesting & allow me to learn w/o the stress of grades or a video camera. Considering that I have had pneumonia, been going through a divorce, knowing that my kid is going to Iraq, struggling w finances etc. etc. I think I came through it all pretty well. Much better than the last divorce, I ended up w Frankenstein tattooed on my ass, but that is another story for another day. This is the first time in my life I don't have parents, a husband or a son to dictate my decisions. My goals have changed & to be honest I don't know where the hell I am going. For those who seem to think that I need to have a certain destination in mind, what the hell do you care? It is my life. So for once I am going to throw away the plans & see what happens. I will be leaving for Singapore after school is out. I will be staying for 3 weeks. If things work out that may be where I am going. Hopefully, all the pieces of the puzzle will fit together or if not, you keep on searching. this I know, nothing I have learned or gained has ever been wasted. It seems to always be there when I need it. Countdown! K

Hoorah!

I was skyping with my brother this weekend. We were discussing my upcoming trip to Singapore & some of the experiences that I have had going through this program, he started laughing. I didn't find it funny. He said that I sounded like a recruit going through boot camp. He said that it sounded like a similar emotional experience! I am glad somebody gets it. He also said that if we have instructors who make us feel that motivated & determined it was a good thing. It is the internal pressure that you put on yourself that gets you. It isn't anything, anyone can make you feel or do, it is you. Learning that you will fail, but you get up & you keep going, you figure it out, you get help, but you don't quit. Somedays you wonder why, but you go to class anyway. There have been days that I think I would have preferred to have been shot at. Its over faster, you know you lived so you are relieved. No one is going to film the near miss & say, you could have ran for cover, why did you stand there & look like a deer in headlights, do you want to be a target? You are not going to have to critique the skills of the person who missed you, did they have the right caliber gun & a heavy enough bullet? Did they aim high or low? No, I am not the best interpreting student in the history of the program, but I gave it what I had. I learned a lot. Skills can always be improved, you will gain so much with experience. But, if you do not have what it takes inside of you, it isn't going to matter. I still hate it that I got so sick, its over, don't make excuses, you have to double-time it, try to learn what we are doing & go back & practice some of what I missed. I tried to do that this weekend. The most important lesson, keep moving forward. I think that may be the most important lesson that we have all learned. No matter what happens, how bad you blow a test, or a performance piece keep going. Take away something from the experience & move forward. Let it go its done, you survived. Maybe tomorrow will be your day. K

Register 4 fall classes? REALLY!

Wow, what happened to spring? It is supposed to snow this weekend. I saw that we can begin to register for fall classes & my first thought was, what, wait, I am not ready yet! Time is going by so fast I cannot keep up. Major life desicions are here knocking on my door demanding my attention. We have 5 weeks of this program to go. It seems impossible. As much as I will miss everyone, I will not miss the pressure. This program is demanding. There has been a great side benefit, you learn a lot about yourself & how you perform under pressure. This morning we had one of April's killer tests. But, we learned in Pittsburgh that those tests are going to be of great benefit to us. Not only do me know the material we have developed study strategies. Everything that we have learned in the past two years will benefit us all in many facets of life. For example if someone holds a gun to my head I know not to panic & that I need to think. Hey, standing in front of the class like a deer in headlights may save your life. As someone said to me do something, anything even if it is wrong. It has been great to stop coughing & start feeling better & not have the brain fog & fatigue. It would have been better if I had not stood on the scales & realized I gained 10+ pounds. Everything goes better & your attitude is better when you feel healthy. We found out today that one of us got accepted to a program in Italy! Congrats! It will be fun to see who goes where & who does what. I expect great things because we are a room full of motivated, intelligent & or course pretty individuals. What is it Aprils telephone says? Hello gorgeous? What you do or take away from any program is up to you. No matter what the outcome, you will use these skills in your professional & personal life. I know that my skills need work but I am really proud that I made it through this program. Your grades are not handed to you, you work really hard for them. There is no way to really cheat, your performance is out there for everyone to see. As these weeks count down take a good look @ the people you have spent 5 days a week with for 2 years & 2 crazy workshops, 5 women in one room hello! Take a good look @ Ruby & April. When you walk out that door on May 13 it may be the last time you actually see some of these people. You will occasionally chat on Facebook or run into each other at a workshop, but the common goal is gone & we will move on w our lives. It has been a pleasure to be in class & get to know each on of you. You are a special group of people. I would not trade this experience, but there have been days........ K

Say what?

The clock is ticking. We start practicum & then we are on our way to? It doesn't seem possible. I still have not processed all that was yesterday, last week or last month. I think the month of
February is lost forever.
This is a crazy world, I am not sure where I fit. I realize that I am doing the same thing w sign language that I did when I started painting. I am taking it way too seriously. In the sense that you have learned the basics, start trusting yourself & taking some risks, have fun with it. A painting you can always change, you can paint over it. I think if you are with the right group of people that you can do the same w sign language. You have to find the right environment, where you can have fun & if you make a mistake you can, either do it again, forget about it or have a happy accident. Sometimes mistakes lead to great learning experiences or they were actually not a mistake at all.
In the class room you are so nervous. I feel like my schnauzer when I teach him a new trick. He wants that treat so bad his nose is sweating, he will do anything to get it. He will do all of his old tricks, but hesitate when he tries the new one... Maybe Ruby & April should incorporate some kind of special treat into their teaching routine. The cool thing is that you get nervous because you have instructors that motivate you. You want to try, to get it right, its a good thing. It is about learning to trust yourself & I am not sure when that happens.
Life is fast & furious. I am going to make it to practicum (I hope), then graduate @ the age of 45. Get a divorce, put my son on a plane to Iraq, go visit my brother in Singapore to see if he is doing his drinking w an IV & pole, come home move to a new apt, start my last year of school.....

T0 B CONTINUED..............

Interpreters human beings or alien life form?

Wow. I just took my dog for a long walk. Big deal I hear you say, it is, this is the first time in 2 months. The October before I came here I finished a half marathon. Hey, look at this, this fat ole woman says she finished a 13 mile race. I did. I was lastest, I knew the ambulance driver by name & I held up the award ceremony, but I did it. I had one really bad mile.

That is where I have been folks, February was my 1 really bad mile.

My dad used to drink hard. No matter how he felt he never missed a shifts work unless there was a funeral or we were in the hospital. In fact my dad never missed an opportunity to "double back" which means he worked 2 shifts back to back. He told me why he did that, so his kids could have it better than he did. I share his work ethic. I have had surgery and went back to work the next day. I did not know my ass from my elbow and I worked in health care with patients, I did not miss work under any circumstances.

The woman I work with now made the comment to me that I needed to get it together because she needed a "warm body with a pulse" to be there in the evenings. That is insulting. I have 9 years experience, had my own business and my first year out of massage school I took 60 hours of CEUs. We were required to have 24. I have been all over the east coast and to Thailand to take classes.

I do not want to be the interpreter who is a "warm body with a pulse." I gave this program 100% effort. Where my skills are right now is all the ability that I have. Last year not only did I not miss one class I was never late and I paid a tutor. I slept with the Gallaudet Dictionary. I do not feel any guilt, I have great teachers. All I can give is what I have.

But, I learned a hard lesson. Health comes first. For the first time in my 45 years on this earth I could not stand up. Feb. 13 I spent the night in my floor, because I could not get up. I made it to the doctor somehow and they gave me a shot in the butt that was supposed to make me better. I woke up and it was like a mule kicked me. I laid there and could not get up. You do not want me to paint you a picture. When I did get up I took my blankets and sheets and threw them away I did not wash them. When I missed class that week I was not shopping on QVC, I thought I was going to DIE.

I know that we are a Deaf persons only mode of communication and that it is very important. But, would you want me to interpret for your mom if I was coughing so hard that pee was running down my leg? If you have the flu and you go to a kindergarten class or an assisted living home with elderly people are you really doing your job? When you go back and you find out that Fred is dead because he got the flu? Did you give it to him? Maybe you did, maybe you didn't, but ethically should you have been there?

I missed a class yesterday because I was in pain. Do I care that I missed 25 points. No, I do not. I made a decison about my health. If I get run down again, I may miss my practicum, which is more important? I miss one class so I can get some much needed rest or I go and risk, laying in my own poop again? Its a no brainer.

They keep telling us that intrepeters are people. After this weekend I am not so sure. Most professionals do not eat their young.

I went to both workshops and gave all I had. What more can I do? We are people we have kids, husbands (did I pay enough attention to my husband last year, I guess not.) We are stressed to the max, giving it all. There comes a point when you have to say you know what. STOP.

I made it through this bad mile, but I will tell you this. I will NEVER under any circumstances, F**** my health up for anyone or anything.

Will I be a good interpreter? If I put the work into it and get as passionate as I was about massage yes, I will be. Will it happen over night no.

I am really not sure how I feel about interpreting. Its the bi-polar roller coaster. I will send you guys a post card when I get where I am going or meant to be.

Lets get-r-dun. That is for Jeanne Marie who will probably be the only one who reads this rant and I know it will irritate her.

Love you guys. I am a changed woman. I will take care of me.

My mother is a writer, bear with me I can write 10 page papers in five minutes, you just can't shut me up.

See, still going......

:-)

I do not know if we are supposed to blog on spring break, if thats actually what you call this. Went to Pittsburgh last weekend to a workshop to learn about the certification process. Came home slept & now we are going to the Terp Expo to have 3 more intense days of learning. Can it get any better? More later, gotta pack! K

Who is in control up there?

I do not know who is in control up there, they have a weird sense of humor. We can't seem to catch a break. This virus that keeps on giving will not go away we are now cough syrup addicts. I do not remember the month of February. But, my grades aren't that bad for having no memory of doing the assigments. I am so disoriented, I was walking my dog this week when I realized its spring, damn when did that happen? Then someone said hey its mid terms! What? You are kidding me right? Then someone said its spring break, hot damn I had no idea. In the past month I have had pneumonia, lost my keys & locked myself out of the apt. twice. I had to sit on the steps in the snow & cough. I have backed my car into my apt. bldg. Its a 5 bldg complex, sort of hard to miss. I have fallen on the ice & rolled under my car, busting up both knees & my L hand. I have missed 3 weeks of work and have taken more drugs than Ozzy Osborne. Okay now thats out of the way. ( I did get to see Snoop Dogg!)
I love the stuff we are doing in class. I wish that we had done it all last semester. Getting the feedback immediately, getting corrected on the spot, using that language. I just wish I had felt better so I could have performed better. I realize that making mistakes is how you learn, better to make them in the classroom than in front of a Deaf client or friend.
Going to Robin is a god send. She is great for fine tuning. I think we plan to continue through the summer, I plan to sit in on Rubys & Aprils classes next year.
My problem & my worst enemy is ME. I do not know why I get so damn nervous. Rubys tests last year almost put me in the hospital. They terrified me, I would really rather be shot at, its over faster & you don't feel upset or guilty, just relief. I do not know why I get so nervous in class. I know that if I would just relax & have fun with it that I can do it. I have it in my head, I really do. But it won't go to my hands because it is blocked by the nerves. The day we did the voicing piece & then I had to go take the chapter 8 makup test from hell, I actually had to go home & go to bed. My knees shook during the voicing & the thing is I like voicing. I really do.
It is the pressure & expectations that you have of yourself, which is a good thing, but can become your downfall. I am glad that I had this experience & I love the fact that I can have a conversation with my friend who is Deaf & other Deaf people. It adds good people to my life. But I have to say this has been on of the most challengeing, frustrating, rewarding, aggravating, inspirational things I have ever attempted in my life. I did research before I came here, I really thought that I knew what the role of an interpreter was. I did not have a clue. What a rude awakening! I guess we better get ready, the real world is coming.

Chart topper Show stopper

When you think things just can't get any worse, they do. This has been a helluva week. I missed classes for the first time since I have been in school. I have to miss at this critical time when things are starting to get real.
I have never been this sick in my life. I literally could not walk. I was scared, I thought maybe I had something really serious. There is nothing more miserable than being sick, scared & alone. Except maybe knowing that you are getting so far behind in this program that you have worked your ass off for, have sweated blood, sweat & tears & now you may not make it. How messed up is that?
I have the commitment I have the drive, but this pneumnia brought me down. I see everyone else going on w/o me & it kills me inside. This isn't fair.
I hope next weeks is better, that is all that I can do. Life isn't fair, welcome to the world. All I ask is have patience w me, I am doing the very best I can. I will try to get caught up next week & move on.
PS Snoop Dogg was incredible. It was the best concert I have ever been to in my life. He is a consumate artist & performer & he put on a helluva show. Wiz Khalifa was great as well. I think it made me feel a little better just to get out & have some fun, even if I do die. Thanks for understanding. It felt good to live a little. It was a charmed night.

I finally gave up. This cold has me, I am coughing all night & getting no sleep. I can't seem to get myself better. Friday April cx classes so I took the day off. I have never missed a class or a test since I have started college. I slept all damn day. I am past the point of knowing what to do.
My body took a hit & it will get better over time. It is frustrating, but there is nothing I can do.

I really enjoy what we are doing in class, I like the activities so much better. I hate the video camera. I like getting correctedd & feedback as we go. Wish that I was able to practice.

This is a life lesson & I am doing the best that I can.

I love this weather & have so many things I want to do, going to rest up this weekend & hope that next week is a better week.

K

*Sigh* Another week down I know we are headed for the "game" and I have never felt more unprepared in my life. I am a good student, I care and most of all I respect communication. It is critical. Sometimes I think we all try too hard.
We had our first actual voice experience this morning, I feel like a bones with no meat when I leave class, I am picked clean.
This is the last semester and I am aware it is the most challenging. I have never started out a semester like this. I still am not up to par with my health. I am trying. I have taken time off work and will only be working 3 days a week this semester. We are going to try to get some time with Robyn to practice. My goal is to come out of this semester strong since I have started out so weak. Sometimes, you give all that you can.
Of all people I know better than to let myself get like this.
You fall down, you get up dust yourself off and continue. I refuse to let this beat me. I am a damn good massage therapist? Why? Because I worked my ass off, I took classes all over the world, I did the work. Even though I don't know my foot is my hand in this world I will get it, in time-- I will be as good as Danielle. There is only one way to gain experience, it takes time & you have to be patient with yourself. The worst battles in this program are with yourself, this is the toughest program for confidence and self esteem. If I fail, think I will try pre-med, it would be a piece of cake after this. LOL! Gotta laugh can't cry every day.

K

Another day in Paradise!

Wow its already week 3? Time moves so fast once school starts. It is like being in a dream on fast forward. I am feeling much better, almost like a human being. I am about 85% better. Some time in the next 3 weeks I will get blood work done & hopefully I am close to being back to normal, normal as I ever was.

Monday was a tough day, we as a class just couldn't seem to get it. You have days like that. We all take it hard when Ruby gets upset, & I don't think I have seen her like that, ever. If she had done that last year I think I would have probably passed out.

I understand this is more than just a "class" it is a commitment. Today I ordered the interpreter training receptive & expressive video's to get some good practice. I will increase my study time now that I can think again.

I enjoy doing the activities even if I am not that good at them. We all struggle. This I do know I have never been in a room w 4 other such determined people. We are all good students, our hearts are in the right place. Hopefully, something will kick in & pah pah as Katy says we will get it, the lightbulb will come on. We all care, but sometimes life can really take the wind out of your sails. We have been busting our a***** for 2 years now. I feel that sometimes I can see it on all of our faces, we look tired.

The end is always the hardest. Lets git-r-dun as they say!

Week 2 and what a lovely week it has been if you are a freakin' polar bear. This semester has started with a lesson you don't learn in school, take care of yourself. I read April's blog to us all. I do agree that you have to give 100%, but to give a 100% you need to be a 100%. I about landed my behind in the hospital. I stress to all of us, instructors included, take care of yourself. This program is demanding, life is stressful, there is nothing you can do to avoid it. Try to eat right, get some rest & relax every once in a while. Good grades are nice, but they are not everything.

Take my advice cause I sure "ain't" using it right now.

I love what we are doing, I thought the fairy tales were a blast & that we enjoyed doing them & that we were honest w each others critiques. It was a good relaxed way to have some fun & learn. I would love to do that once a week for practice. I enjoyed it, just wish I didn't fatigue so easily.

I will be back on my feet in about 2 more weeks & have learned a good lesson. I am not going to freak out about everything, some things I will do well, some things I will not. I have to approach this semester with a different attitude. Failure in this class is a good thing, it lets you know what you need to work on, it doesn't mean that you aren't trying or that you don't have the ability. If being an interpreter was an easy job everyone would be doing it. There would be no demand for it. This isn't going to happen in a day, a week or even a year, it is something that you will continue to learn for the rest of your life.

In doing the ethics homework I have realized that you learn a lot about yourself & other people in this program, there is so much of you personally that you put out there.

One day at a time right now, I am being patient with me. I want a healthy balance of school & life. I made it this far, I will make it the rest of the way, IF I am smart. Good luck to everyone even though I know we don't need luck, just do the work, the rest will come. :-)

Wow here we stand on the edge of the abyss that is the last semester of the ITP program, how did we get here? It has been a crazy ride. I wish we could have taken these classes in a vacum, without the outside stress of a personal life, social life, paying bills, crazy room mates etc. A friend asked me why I took this program if is is so demanding, the answer how was I to know?! It is a little like being pregnant, too late once you get there. But, I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. I have learned so much about myself, met some great people & had two of the best instructors I have ever met. You don't usually get close to college instructors because you usually have them once & move on. We know our instructors & their families & that Calvin Losch is going to have a temper!! LOL
I have learned that above all my health is important, this semester I am going to try to find a balance of work & play & rest. I let myself get out of balance & about paid the ultimate price, my adrenal system is stressed & I became really sick over Christmas break. I had been forgetting my medication, among other things it seems, like eating....
We have put our heart & soul into this program. I approach this semester w a lot of emotions, I am scared, sad, happy, hopeful & ready to move forward with my life.
I have never lived through this much change this fast, I am ready to get done w school & transition back into the real world & a routine....maybe a normal life? Going home to normal? Does that ever really happen, ready or not, here we go.........................................